Just How 'Motley' Was This 'Crew'?
But I had no idea just how much of an understatement that would prove to be.
My first exposure to Team Motley Crew came through an introductory call facilitated by a very perky woman answering to the name of Next-Moon. I think it must have been her Indian name.
My fellow panelists seemed nice enough, but I really wasn’t buying their charade. Clearly, these ladies were out for blood. One (Gina) claimed to have worked with everyone from Elizabeth Dole to Lady Gaga, and the other (Alli) took every opportunity to remind us just how much younger and hipper she was than the rest of us. I spent most of the time counting my Twitter followers.
By the time we finished our conversation, everyone agreed that I would be the first (i.e. “warm-up”) speaker, followed by the more sophisticated panelists.
When we gathered to rehearse in Boston, I was shocked to find that Alli had arranged for the room to be filled with lilac-scented candles, gently chilled Evian and a large bowl of all-red Skittles. She insisted it was part of her “centering” ritual. Gina was less particular about the room setup, but insisted that her photo remain on the screen for as long as possible. She also boasted that she came armed with a slick stop-action video presentation. That certainly trumped my attempt to curry favor with the crowd by offering free book giveaways. Chief Next-Moon remained quite diplomatic throughout the rehearsal, although she did candidly disclose her plan to use the experience to finagle a keynote role at SMPS 2011.
The morning of our presentation, I arrived to discover that Next-Moon had been up all night rearranging the room. She informed us that she would remain in view throughout the presentation (“for consistency”), while the rest of us would be hidden from public view (or, as she liked to call it, “extreme stage-left”). Gina seemed unfazed, taunting us with her ultra-cool iPad. Alli, meanwhile, just kept muttering refrains of “Yes, and…”
I retreated to a corner and assumed the fetal position (part of MY “centering” ritual). I’m not quite sure what prompted the ladies to call the hotel medical team, but I assume their intentions were pure. I do think the restraints were unnecessary – even if the medics insisted they were just following hotel protocol.
In the end, it all worked out well. Team Motley Crew came together and performed like pros. Gina got plenty of face-time on the screen, Alli honored her IKEA endorsement contract, and Next-Moon gracefully positioned herself for a keynote slot at SMPS 2011. I was just honored to come along for the ride, and so grateful to have met such a gracious, motley crew.
Respectfully Submitted,
Mike (@SomeChum) Plotnick
